Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a transformative approach to psychotherapy that encourages healing by recognizing and accepting multiple facets of the self. This therapy is based on the premise that the mind is naturally multiple, and that peace comes from understanding and integrating these diverse parts.
The ultimate goal is self-acceptance and personal growth, achieved by exploring how these parts interact within us.
Understanding Your Parts
IFS identifies three main types of parts:
- Protectors: Protectors are subdivided into two parts
- Managers: These parts try to keep you safe from harm and psychological pain by controlling your environment and emotions.
- Firefighters: Reacting to moments of emotional distress, they attempt to extinguish pain through impulsive behaviors.
- Exiles: These are the vulnerable parts from childhood, holding memories and emotions from traumatic experiences. Exiles are deeply hidden within us, shielded by managers and firefighters to maintain the system’s safety.
- Self-Energy: A key concept in IFS therapy, which embodies a person’s core essence and is characterized by specific qualities known as the 8 C’s and 5 P’s. These traits facilitate mental health healing:
- 8 C’s: Compassion, curiosity, clarity, creativity, calm, confidence, courage, connectedness.
- 5 P’s: Playfulness, patience, presence, perspective, persistence.
The Self is something that people are born with and that can be accessed, rather than built. It’s considered a new concept in psychotherapy, and it’s important to approach it without trying to match it to existing ideas of “self”.
During an IFS session, people can reach a state of Self by identifying and unblending from the parts that are active at a given moment. When people are in a state of Self, they can experience some of the 8 C’s.
Tips for identifying parts in daily life:
- Notice when you feel a sudden change in emotions—this might indicate a part being activated.
- Pay attention to inner critic voices; these often represent managerial parts.
Daily Practices for Self-Healing
- Dialogue with Parts: Begin by acknowledging a part and asking what it needs from you. For instance, you might say, “I see you’re worried. What can I do to help you feel safe?” Encourage a dialogue between your parts by recognizing their positive intentions and negotiating their needs.
- Self-soothing Techniques: Teach yourself to calm different parts by deep breathing, grounding exercises, or using comforting affirmations like, “I am safe and in control.”
- Creating Harmony Among Parts: Encourage cooperation between your parts by recognizing their positive intentions and negotiating their needs.
Applying IFS in Relationships
- Identify Active Parts in Dynamics: Notice which parts arise in interactions with others—perhaps a protective manager when you feel criticized.
- Communicate from the Self: Practice speaking from a place of calm and clarity, embodying the compassionate Self, to foster healthier interactions.
- Consciously Accessing Exiles: If there is a good amount of safety and trust in your relationship, practice tuning into your vulnerable parts of self and speaking from that place.
Managing Difficult Emotions
- Guided Techniques: When overwhelmed, ask yourself which part is activated and what its fears are. Offer it reassurance, perhaps saying, “I understand you’re scared, but I am here to protect us.”
- Practicing Self Compassion: which you can access through Self energy. Place your hand over your heart and send compassion inward into your heart area. See if you can have a sense of receiving that compassion.
What This Means For You
Integrating IFS techniques into your daily life can significantly enhance emotional resilience and self-awareness. These practices empower you to live with less conflict and more harmony, both internally and in relationships.
We Can Help
Want to delve deeper into IFS or need more personalized guidance? Contact Touchstone Trauma Therapy today. Our experts are ready to support your journey towards comprehensive self-understanding and lasting change.
